Nonviolent Communication (NVC)™ is a model of communication that empowers us to speak and listen in a way that is most likely to inspire compassion and to keep us connected to our own and each other’s basic humanity. It is a language that helps us stay in touch with the natural compassion at the core of the human heart. It was developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D, who was a student of Carl Rogers, and has been taught all over the world for the past thirty years.

Couples Therapy:

At present about 1/3 of my work is couples’ therapy and much of that work is deeply informed by my experience and practice of NVC. More and more I am seeing that if people can find a way of connecting and really hearing and understanding one another, then any conflict, however big, can be resolved. And I am seeing that if people cannot find a way of meeting heart-to-heart and connecting then any conflict, no matter how small, will result in separation and pain. My work as a couples’ therapist seems to be about helping people remove the barriers that get in the way of connecting in this way and supporting people to stay in the fire of difficult conversations long enough so that such a heart connection can be formed. As people in relationship, we are often threatened by our differences. I am seeing that when people stay in these conversations about difference then the relationship grows strong enough to tolerate such difference and intimacy and closeness deepen. I am always struck by both the sacredness of such work and the courage of my clients to do this work.

As a former English teacher and poet, I also have a passion for words. I was drawn to NVC because it was a way of using words and communication to transform our relationship with self and others, a way of remaking the world through remaking language. I am passionate about finding different ways of meeting differences, whether the differences are between people, communities or nations, or whether the differences and conflicts exist in our very own hearts.